Tetris movie trilogy announced

Photographer: Mark Lennihan/AP

Okay, so they’re making a Tetris movie.

Process that. Imagine it. Roll that bit of information around in your cranium for a little bit.

Okay, so correction: they’re making three Tetris movies.

Right? How many movies can they possibly make about different configurations of blocks getting stacked on top of each other? But Larry Kasanoff, the producer of what is sure to be a modern masterpiece of just-bullshit-it cinema, wants you to know they’re not splitting it in three just to get more money out of you. Him? Never. It’s just that there’s so much narrative material, you know? Their source material is positively dripping with the Aristotelian unities, you know?

“The story we conceived is so big… This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story.”

Hey, Kasanoff, don’t throw stones from block houses.

In all seriousness, maybe this could be something interesting. After all, who would’ve ever thought that “The Lego Movie” would be the resounding success it turned out to be? According to that Empire report, they’re planning on turning the Tetris trilogy into an incredible sci-fi story of heretofore unknown specifics, examining “finding order in chaos,” says Kasanoff. He also claims that no one has come “even close” to guessing at the plot of the film, and there definitely won’t be any animated blocks with feet riding into battle against each other and learning about friendship. Who knows? This little trilogy just might surprise us.

If this news has given you a nostalgia craving, have a free online version of the game and the original soundtrack below. Happy puzzling!

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Posted in Articles, Movies, Television

Ed Hirtzel is the Summer 2016 Fly intern. She’s currently an English Honors student at Millersville University. Her hobbies include scribbling, writing both fiction and nonfiction, and compiling useless information about cryptids.

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