Two of America’s (unfortunately sometimes literally) most wanted athletes come to Lancaster this month. The careers of superstar bad boy athletes, Jose Canseco and Dennis Rodman, have taken them on wild rides that have apparently all been leading up to appearances at Clipper Magazine Stadium – the home of the Lancaster Barnstormers. Yes, the stars are out.
Canseco hits Clipper on Aug. 19.
Rodman comes to the Clip on Saturday, Aug. 20.
The two athletes have had their share of wild times, but it’s good to see they’ll always be there for each other. Because if there’s one person you want in your corner, and adding his confirmation that you’re (or even your) doing the right thing, it’s Jose Canseco.
Dennis rodman if you need my help with anything let me know your on the right path
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 5, 2013
Let’s take a closer by-the-numbers look at the athletes’ amazing and often very bizarre careers, which occasionally paralleled each other – albeit in swerving lines:
Jose “The Chemist” Canseco
Teams played for: 8 (Oakland A’s, Texas Rangers, Tampa Bay Rays, Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Toronto Blues Joys, and now, at age 52, the Pittsburgh Diamonds. Canseco made his first appearance with the team yesterday going two for four in the team’s 9-2 loss to the Sonoma Stompers)
World Series rings: 2. One with the ’89 A’s and another with the 2000 Yankees.
Times he shot his finger off with a gun: 1 (Read the crazy saga here.)
Total Major League home runs: 462 (puts him 35th all time).
Times he claimed Madonna wanted to have his baby: 1
Babies actually had with Madonna: 0
Total Major League Runs Batted In: 1407 (76th all time).
Season of Donald Trump’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” he appeared on: 11
Episode of The Simpsons he appeared on: No. 52. “Homer at The Bat.” Did the ‘Simpsons’ production crew say Canseco was a pain to work with? You bet!
Books authored: 3. Including his tell-all story of the steroid era of baseball, “Juiced: Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big” and a 1990 book called “Strength Training for Baseball.” Wonder what kind of tips he gives?
Times he’s voluntarily posed for a photo with a shirt on: Probably zero.
Mixed martial arts record: 0-1
Celebrity boxing record: 5-1. Canseco’s next fight will reportedly be against Lindsay Lohan’s dad.
Times he’s been KO’d by a former Philadelphia Eagle: 1.
Times his giant head helped someone hit a home run: 1.
Dennis “The Worm” Rodman
Teams played for: 5 (Detroit Pistons, San Antonio Spurs, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Mavericks)
NBA championships won: 5. Including a three-peat with the Chicago Bulls from 1996-1998.
Total NBA rebounds: 11,954
Times he visited North Korea: 4
Times he sang “Happy Birthday” to Kim Jong-un: 1. Want to see it? Of course you do.
Total NBA game minutes played: 28,839
Times he claimed Madonna wanted to have his baby: 1.
Babies actually had with Madonna: 0.
Season of Donald Trump’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” appeared on: 8
Episode he was fired in: 5.
Episode of “The Simpsons” he appeared on: 360.
Times he’s broken his penis: 3. Yep. Three times. Hang on, let him tell you about that. (Warning this video contains Dennis Rodman talking about his broken penis and some cartoon animation.)
Books authored: 6. Including “Bad As I Wanna Be” and “Dennis the Wild Bull,” which is a book by Dennis Rodman. For kids.
Times he’s voluntarily posed for a photo with his shirt on: Probably zero.
Number of times he teamed up with Hulk Hogan in the middle of an NBA Championship series: 1. “Rodzilla” teamed up with the Hulkster in ’98 to take on fellow NBA star Karl “The Mailman” Malone and Diamond Dallas Page. He did this right before Game 4 of the ’98 NBA Finals. You can see that mess here.
Amount of dollars he was fined by the NBA for the WWE stunt: $10,000
Jose Canseco appears at Clipper Magazine Stadium on Aug. 19 and Dennis Rodman makes an appearance on Aug. 20. Get more information here.